Before the Sun Goes Down

Draft, under review

Ephesians 4:25–32

25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to his neighbor, for we are all members of one another.

26“Be angry, yet do not sin.” Do not let the sun set upon your anger,

27and do not give the devil a foothold.

28He who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing good with his own hands, that he may have something to share with the one in need.

29Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up the one in need and bringing grace to those who listen.

30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, in whom you were sealed for the day of redemption.

31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice.

32Be kind and tenderhearted to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you.

Berean Standard Bible. Read the full chapter

Reflection

Paul writes these lines to a church, but they land with special weight in a home. Because we belong to one another, falsehood has to go and truth has to be spoken (Eph 4:25). Anger is not automatically sin, but it must not turn into sin, and it shouldn't be carried overnight, because lingering anger gives the devil a foothold (Eph 4:26–27).

Then Paul turns to our words. Let nothing rotten come out of your mouth, only what builds up and gives grace to the one who hears it (Eph 4:29). Bitterness, rage, shouting and slander are to be put away (Eph 4:31). In a strained marriage, it is often the words, sharp or cold or silent, that do the deepest damage.

The heart of the passage is the last verse. Be kind to one another and tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ forgave you (Eph 4:32). The measure and the power come from the same place. You can only give the forgiveness you have first received from Christ (Col 3:13).

Notice what Paul does not say. Speaking truth means that wrongs can be named. Forgiveness is not pretending, and it is not a demand to stay in danger. If there is abuse, threats or violence in your home, getting safe is not a failure of love, and abuse should be reported to the authorities. No one is required to remain in danger. For most strained marriages, though, the next step is small: one honest word, one kind act, and asking a pastor or counselor to walk with you both.

Word study: verified (STEPBible)

eusplanchnos (Greek, Strong's G2155): tenderhearted, compassionate (Eph 4:32). It describes a compassion felt deep inside. The New Testament uses it only here and in 1 Pet 3:8, beside chrestos (kind, G5543) and charizomai (to forgive freely, G5483) in the same verse.

Cross-reference trail

  1. Col 3:12-14: Clothed in compassion and forgiveness.
  2. Jas 1:19-20: Quick to listen, slow to anger.
  3. Prov 15:1: Soft words that calm anger.
  4. Matt 18:21-22: Forgiveness without counting.
  5. 1 Pet 3:7-9: Honor, sympathy and blessing in the home.

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Prayer

Father, You forgave me in Christ. Soften my words, make me tenderhearted, and give us wisdom and safety in our home.

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